In what is becoming something of a trend on this blog, we once again have action adventure chosen from Netflix, this time my account, as the category from which today's film hails.
As cathartic as it is to tear down a movie in a negative review from time to time, I really wouldn't want it to be the ONLY thing I do on this blog. Having to write a bad review means I have to watch a bad movie, and that's only fun if it's bad in an entertaining and interesting way. If it's just dull and poorly made, like Alpha and Omega, then all I'm doing is subjecting myself to an unwatchable film I can't recommend. And I really do want to recommend films here - find interesting stuff to write about and hope other people want to watch it based on my write-up. If every film I watch is Alpha and Omega, I'd quickly fall into a pattern of "don't watch this" and "stay away from that." It'd get boring and depressing real damn quick.
I had all the above in mind when I rolled up Without A Paddle for today. Based on the Netflix rating and various reactions online, it didn't seem like a fun ride. Seth Green's a good actor, and I liked him in Buffy, but otherwise it struck me as nothing but another mediocre mid-2000s comedy film nobody had heard of. Hitting play, I fully expected a massive piece of shit movie full of stoner references and piss and shit jokes, the sort of thing you can only get into with a few buddies and excessive amounts of alcohol.
With the movie done now, I can happily say it's OK. Not a great comedy, not a bad one, not really offensive in any way, just OK. It happens for around an hour and a half, delivers some good laughs, and it's over without any pain or lasting memory. I don't regret watching it, even though it's not anything special, so there we are. If you'd like a little more detail than that, read on.
Three grown-up friends from back in the 80s - neurotic doctor Dan (Green), mild jackass Tom (Dax Shepard) and character trait I don't remember Jerry (Matthew Lillard) - meet up again after their friend Billy dies, and find a treasure map he left for their planned childhood adventure to find DB Cooper's lost treasure. Dissatisfied with their lives for one reason or another, they decided to go out on a journey in Billy's memory and have one last childlike adventure together before giving into the pressures of adulthood. Naturally, anything and everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and the trio must fight to survive in the Washington wilderness in what I can only describe a series of "wacky hijinks," eventually learning several valuable lessons about life.
You've seen the story before. I've seen the story before. I don't even watch all that many films of this sort and I've seen this story a million times before, mostly in cartoons. It's not in any way an original or interesting plot, but I can't fault the movie for it. There's around four or five major sequences in the film involving a bear attack, pot farming hillbilly murderers, some hippie all-natural girls in a tree, and...
Before I go on, can I just take a moment to talk about the hillbillies for a moment? I'm only bringing it up in its own paragraph because I JUST did Tucker and Dale vs. Evil last week, and this is exactly the sort of "haw haw all hillbillies are evil freaks" thing that movie was against. They both even go so far as to reference Deliverance, which popularized the trope. I know this one was made six years before Tucker and Dale, but having seen both now, I totally get how quickly the joke wears really fucking old. Even though there's a bit at the end explaining why they act the way they do, the movie still has an air about it implying that yep, all backwoods country folk are just over-the-top murderous bastards. Stay away from 'em, city folk! Don't wanna end up man-raped scare quotes go here, do ya?!?
Sorry about the interruption. Anyways, back to the review.
...a southern sheriff who lives in Washington state for some reason, and none of them are really bad. They land a few jokes here and there, and the best most of the rest get are a slightly amused smile. It all functions about as well as you can expect a comedy film without any major ambitions to function, so it's hard to say it fails on any level.
The characters, too, are largely stock, but they're at least endearing. They play off of one another well-enough to form the sense we're watching lifelong friends, and pull the right "Oh come ON" faces when called to. I personally think Green gives the best performance of the three, but that's really only because he's the only actor I know and have reason to like prior to watching this (Burt Reynolds has a small roll towards the end, but I didn't realize it until looking it up - probably because I know jack dick about Burt Reynolds). All the side characters play their parts without any special flair, but still do a good enough job - yes, even the hillbillies - to pass muster. Special mention to Bart the Bear 2 as the bear.
(Yeah, Wikipedia pages for two bear actors. I'm as surprised as you.)
If I had to fault the film for anything, it'd mostly be for a few jokes I personally find distasteful. Some stuff with pissing and bear shit, but nothing I can really hate on too much. Outside those two bits (which are at the beginning and end of the film) and the hillbilly characters, there's nothing much in this film that aims to shock or offend anyone. I suppose the half-naked huddling in the rain bit, or the jokes about being able to see the hippie girls' downstairs might not play well with some, but I didn't mind them much while watching. It's not a clean comedy film by any means, but it's not intentionally offensive or disgusting beyond a few elements, so...
It's just an alright film, is what it is. There's an appropriate level of 80s nostalgia sprinkled here and there, they use their soundtrack songs well, and it's got a good message about treasuring what you have rather than chasing something you can never get. The whole thing is by the numbers comedy with the right amount of effort put in to get you to laugh maybe a dozen times throughout the whole thing. I really wish I had more to say, but I just don't. Without A Paddle occupied my attention throughout its running time and made me smile a little, and that's the highest praise I can bestow upon it.
Consider this another one of those "if what I just described sounds like a good time to you, check it out" movies. Otherwise, I don't think you'd be hurt by giving this one a miss. Sorry for the brevity, but that's all I have to say without stretching and trying to figure out the true pain behind Dan's obsession with a C-3PO figure.
(Assorted thoughts:
- I've never smoked pot in my life, and I have no intention of doing so, but I am fairly certain based on what I know that it does not make you hallucinate. And I'm only slightly less certain that dogs inhaling marijuana smoke are gonna die rather than get stoned.
- If all of the bear's scenes are an actual bear, and if all the main actors did the majority of their stunts, then Seth Green's still one ballsy guy for letting a live bear pick him up in its mouth and carry him off.
- DB Cooper's Wikipedia page, just in case anyone's interested in learning about the guy. Stole a bunch of money, jumped out of a plane, vanished without a trace. S'pretty interesting.)
Not really a whole lot to say down here. Short review, few busy days, no big thing. I'll try to make Friday's review a touch longer.
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